Grief is such a wild ride, isn’t it? One moment you’re deep in your feelings, and the next, something—a song, a memory, or even a silly joke—makes you laugh. And then, just like that, you might feel a twinge of guilt for laughing when you’re supposed to be grieving. It’s confusing and messy, and honestly, it can feel a little uncomfortable.
Many of us have been conditioned to think that grief means constant sadness. We believe that if we find joy, we’re somehow dishonoring our loved ones or moving on. We don't move on we move within our grief, carrying it always.
Here’s the thing: joy and grief can absolutely coexist. They can be like two old friends sitting at the same table, each contributing to the conversation in their own way.
When you experience joy, it’s natural to feel a bittersweet edge. You might find yourself smiling while also feeling a pang of sadness because the person you lost isn’t there to share that moment with you. And that’s okay! It’s perfectly normal to feel both joy and sadness at the same time. Grief doesn’t stick to just one emotion; it embraces all of them.
Think about the moments that bring you joy. Maybe it’s a memory that makes you smile or a favorite song that reminds you of them. Those moments can feel heavy because they remind you of what you’ve lost, but they also shine a light on the love that remains. It’s like a reminder that your loved ones would want you to find happiness, even in their absence.
We often hold ourselves back from feeling joy because we fear it will diminish our grief or make us seem like we’re moving on. But the truth is, allowing joy into our lives can actually deepen our connection to our memories. It keeps their spirit alive and shows that love doesn’t end with loss.
So, the next time you find yourself laughing or smiling unexpectedly, lean into that feeling. It doesn’t mean you’re forgetting; it means you’re embracing the fullness of your experience. Allow yourself to feel both the happiness and the sorrow. They’re part of your journey, and both are valid.
Remember, grief is not a straight line; it’s a winding path filled with ups and downs, laughter and tears. It’s a messy, beautiful process that teaches us about love, resilience, and the complexity of being human. So, embrace all those feelings—let them swirl together. It’s all part of your story, and it’s okay to celebrate joy, even while holding onto your grief. You’re not alone in this, and you have every right to feel it all.
If you are struggling to find your footing I offer grief education and coaching.
I would be honoured to sit with you.
Love from,
Kath
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