Kathie Powell

Here's a judgement we don't often talk about regarding grief. It's just another painful part we experience on this journey. So, I'll talk about it. This judgement is often from other grievers. That surprises some. So many of us believe those of us who know grief most intimately would automatically understand another person’s pain. Sometimes we do. Sometimes we are the safest people you’ll ever meet. But sometimes grief creates something else. It creates rules, invisible ones created from...

There’s something cruel about wedding anniversaries after your partner dies. People still call it your anniversary, but it isn’t really. Not anymore. It’s a should have been. Fuck, I hate that. This year would have been 46 years. But it’s not. It’s been four anniversaries without him. Four years of trying to figure out what this day even is now. At first, the anniversaries felt sharp and panicked. I remember sitting on the deck waiting for a sign from him because he promised me he’d meet me...

There is a version of grief that many people learn to perform. The “I’m okay.” The “I’m staying strong.” The polite smile. The quick answer. The version that makes other people comfortable. But grief was never meant to fit neatly into a socially acceptable box. Real grief is layered. Messy. Confusing. Tender. Angry. Beautiful. Lonely. Loving. Sometimes all within the same hour. And when we spend too much time filtering our grief to protect others, avoid judgment, or try to appear “better,” we...